HEALING from some scars: part of comments on a post about Beth’s posting of some “nude” photos of herself post-cancer treatment
Eating my fill – SCARS!
I realize I come to this late, but how persuasive this post is is! (responding to this Huffington Post article —thank you so much for posting! –my scars (repaired head following a rupture of an aneurysm) wouldn’t photograph nearly as well, but this is absolutely essential! –remnants of what’s left after cancerous consumption! –cancer is very hungry, (hungrier than Moxie Supper, who’s sometimes just “greedy”, but is often finicky –within her greed), and these pictures are a way of also feeding! –eating what’s necessary to survive even better! –I applaud this! -–I guess I too fear some unfriending, for many, many reasons, (some probably deserved, but not all of it; “life” has happened to me also, and I too continue, some form of me continues, only form (my “new normal”) there will ever be –ie: this is the form from which changes will be made! –I’ll not remain just as I am, changing by the minute, going on to “I-can’t-say-what-for-sure”, but traveling nevertheless… and often happy, often grateful that I can still travel at all! –-feeding on whatever becomes available. Having to feed in order to maintain any form of existence!
Blog Woman, I realize that I’m reiterating much of what has been said, but this is just a wonderful post! I suppose that I don’t want to be “unfriended” either, and certainly not for changes in my body! –unavoidable, I feel, just be living to certain ages! –to “change” is a way and “rule” of existence? –I’m nothing like the promise of me when I was born 60 years ago; I’ve changed substantially, and I’m not done; even when I die, my body will continue to change, and will be a feast for microbes, many of which are already with in me, held back by a living status, but when I die (and I will) that status will be invalid, ad those microbes can feat on this tiny body… only about 90 pounds and 4’10” tall… but still enough for a feast.
I don’t have scars that are as visible as Beth’s; mine are much more invisible (scar from a ruptured aneurysm; indentation on my head [that was bumpy anyway]), and the blindness, legal blindness, in my left eye due to optic neuritis due to MS (diagnosed in 1996, though I’d had MS since graduate school [when symptoms manifested in a first exacerbation in 1981[[face, lower right jaw, attributed to test anxiety, rigors of graduate study; legs next time ~circa 1982/3, swelling [[in my mind]] like incredible loaves of bread]] then dormant until 1996 –scars inside my body; not outside), and also scars from a c-section performed for the birth of my only biological child –old scar still visible from when I fell off a bike, breaking a glass jug of milk –still have scars above my knees from that, and from falling into a barbed wire fence “protecting a small tree lawn in Ohio, –and also emotional scars after a divorce after forty years when I was a teenager, who did a best that she could, becoming pregnant after a rape when I was just fifteen, rapist was an older man, 25 when I was fifteen. I had a third trimester abortion (in New York State, where the procedure was “legal”) –after that rapist refused to ever speak to me again… I was unable to tell anyone –not even –especially not my parents!– I was left silent and frigid –“symptoms” the man I married vowed to cure –at first, of course, I didn’t want him to touch me, but eventually I overcame that –I was still in high school, and stopped speaking altogether –should I be unfriended for this?
–not that Facebook “friends” are “friends” in any other context, but they’re still called “friends” –and seems to me that carries some responsibilities. What would it take for me to “unfriend” someone? –Maybe I’d do this to escape more parts of high school, a regrettably tim of my life –the ruptured aneurysm purged my brain of quite a bit of short term memory keeping –I’m not yet as bold as Beth (though I did “like” her page, and am following it) –I can’t yet state what I’m saying and feeling (don’t quite have the “Moxie”, I suppose; but I can’t yet state what I have to say without the protection of (pretty much “rapist-free) physical space –I do indeed remain hungry –perhaps just for a chance to live those years again, and do things I didn’t do, and some things I did differently –your post Blog Woman, has enabled me to say this! –thank you so much…
But friending and unfriending has become so easy –as it is for liking and unliking things –strange that there are no other options…